Jesus, become my "EVERYTHING!"

I often wonder why when I return to the states I feel such complete culture shock? How can I feel such a disconnection from the place I was born and raised and live?? How is it that it is so hard to "fit back in??" so to say. There are many things that make it difficult...

American extravagance.

Such things as the grocery store. This sounds silly but coming back it is so hard to step foot into one. The variety of choices and the convinece we have here in America. They sit on each corner; they are everywhere.

The clutter in our lives.

The ease with which we receive medical care and are able to get medicine.

The lack of thanksgiving on the part of us all.

While all of these things make it difficult to readjust, the biggest shock that I face is I find myself stepping out of my reliance on God to meet my needs. It is almost like I "miss" Jesus. He hasn't disappeared of course or gone anywhere, He is still right next to me, but I step out of my reliance on Him. Here, our lives can actually "function" without Him and they do. In Haiti, the people have to rely on Jesus for everything. They depend on Him to provide food for them to eat and clean water to drink. There lives aren't cluttered with meaningless things. When I'm sick I make a doctor's appointment or go to the nearest drugstore and get some OTC med that I hope will make me "better." When I am hungry I make my way to a refrigerator stocked full of food and take my pick of what I want. There isn't just one choice but many. If I'm sad or lonely I call a friend or run to my roommate. When I'm tired, I go crawl in my warm bed for a great night of sleep. If I need to go somewhere, I get in my car. If I'm bored, I make plans.

This is why I feel so disconnected. I keep forgetting to ask God to heal me, to fill me, to let me drink of the living water where I will never thirst again. I forget to ask him first for strength, peace, guidance, and comfort when I'm sad or lonely. I have to "schedule" times to pray, such as when I rise in the morning or at night instead of being in constant communication with Him like I was in Haiti. In Haiti, they are "physically" poor and completely dependent on God, but "spiritually" they are as healthy as ever.

My prayer is for balance in my life. I don't want to be so completely dependent on "stuff" that I forget about my savior who gave EVERYTHING for me.