NEW WEBSITE LAUNCH!! Check it out!!

lauren-ashlee.com

So I can finally say I have launched my new website!! So excited!! From now on, all of my blog posts will be done at ...

lauren-ashlee.com

Please check it out!! I hope you enjoy my new site and continue to follow my blogs!!

More Precious than Rubies

If you are reading this and you are single, this is for you. I pray that each word I write is an encouragement unto your life and restores lost HOPE while you "wait."

The "wait" that God has me on has been a journey. To be honest, its been tough. I've walked through many valleys and faced many tears. I have cried out to God in a state of desperation, begging Him to help me understand the "why," but each time He reminds me that I'm not meant to understand the "why," but to trust in who He is and that He has my heart in the palm of his hands. He knows how fragile our hearts are and as our "daddy," He will guard our hearts with each step we take.

Last week, one of my best friends got married and I had the amazing honor to be in her wedding. It was absolutely beautiful and she was a stunning bride. As she walked down the isle, I couldn't keep my tears from falling. My heart was so full and I could see the joy all over her life that she had found "the one whom [her] soul loves." Song of Solomon 3:4. Her "wait" was finally over and she was marrying the man of her dreams. That day, she was reminded of how much God loves her and sees the deepest desires of her heart. Watching her love story unfold on her wedding day reminded me of God's great love for us. The pure and divine love that God creates in a marriage, demonstrates His own love for us. It was He who said, "it is not good for man to be alone." Adam didn't approach God for a mate; Adam didn't even know what he was missing. But God knew. God initiated the process of a companion for Adam because it was all part of His perfect plan. Marriage is a part of God's perfect plan and He initiates that desire and longing in our hearts. He starts the process and He will bring it to full completion. He is faithful and His promises are true. Sometimes the "wait" He takes us through can seem long and hopeless, BUT God sees the bigger picture and knows that we are strong enough to walk through the fire so that He can bring us out stronger than ever before. He wants to write a love story so beautiful for you life, but you have to let go and trust Him with it. He wants to give you a love story that will be the greatest love story ever told; one that is full of an unwavering walk of faith. And ultimately, He wants to create a love story that brings His name glory and changes the hearts and minds of generations. This can be your love story...

As I was helping my beautiful friend prepare for her big day, we stopped by a Jewelry store to have her jewelry cleaned. I have never really taken the time to look through the glass at diamond rings, but that day I did. The lady behind the counter asked me if I wanted to try one one, without much hesitation, I said "Yes, Please!" ... As I slipped the ring on my finger, the diamond was absolutely breathtaking. Of course I had to pick the most expensive ring in the store to try on! Haha! I just wanted to see what it looked like out from behind the glass case. Absolutely Beautiful. There for a minute, I had to fight tears, not because of the diamond on my finger but because of what it symbolized; I was reminded of the deepest desire of my heart. Yes the ring was beautiful, but it wasn't about the ring at all; it was about the desire for a companion and a God written love story. The desire to have someone by your side, to take their hand, and change the world.  Every girl longs to LOVE and to be LOVED.  That day, God began to speak to my heart while I was sitting there and His amazing peace came over my life.  God's beautiful words reminded me that I am more precious than rubies to my heavenly father. I thought about this for a minute, rubies are the rarest of gems and one of the hardest to find. To know the magnitude and value God has set over my life is beyond anything I can understand. There is peace and comfort in knowing He delights in me, that His desires are my desires, and His plan for my life is already set.

"Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies." -Proverbs 31:10

God delights in writing beautiful love stories. He has a specific purpose for each one but it takes time to refine. Our love stories are like that diamond that is locked away behind the counter in the glass case. It is kept safe from those who want to abuse it but held in safety for that person who deserves it, your prince. Just like our lives, if you are single and waiting for your prince, know the value that God has placed on your life. Believe that you are worthy of that God-written love story. You are MUCH more precious to Him than rubies so He will keep you behind the counter until that day comes and your prince arrives. When the time is right, He will bring you out and allow you to become one with the companion God has chosen for you.

The "wait" is a difficult place to be. Sometimes you think you have almost lost all faith and you are doing everything you can just to keep your head above the water. You feel alone and that God has forgotten you. You pray and pray but half the time you feel like your prayers are just hitting the ceiling. Let me encourage you, YOU are not alone. God has a plan for you and He will bring a worthy prince into your life. Believe you are worthy and seek to live each day in contentment knowing who holds the destiny of your love story. Once you get to a place where you realize your worth, everything changes. One day you will say, "I have found the one whom my soul loves."

A Vision that will Change the World.

I am continually amazed and humbled at the beauty of Christ. There is so much on my heart and so much I want to share. To be honest, I don't really know where to start,  but I'll start with this, God loves a good story and about a week ago, He started an incredible one, one full of world-changers.

The picture above says so much. It's full of passion, commitment, LOVE, grace, hope, and so much more. About a week ago, I had the amazing opportunity to lead a team of 21 to the beautiful country of Nicaragua.  I have watched God mold and shape a team, giving them the confidence and faith to step out and change the world.  Fear turned to Confidence; Doubt turned to Faith; Sadness turned to Joy. Every step we took, we walked with a HOLY confidence knowing that the God we serve CAN and WILL provide for our every need. Empty bellies were filled and the thirsty found not only physical water but the living water of Jesus Christ. We fed over 600 hundred children in some of the poorest villages in Nicaragua. Walking through poverty changes something within you. When you see children starving and waiting in line with an empty bowl, you will do everything you can to get that child something to eat. As you hold a little one or as they wipe the tears from your eyes, you catch yourself asking "Why? Why do they go hungry? Why is there not enough food for them to eat? Why isn't there access to clean water? How did I get the privilege of living in a country where food and water and shelter are in abundance?" These were some of the questions that we all faced while feeding the hungry. One of the first villages we went to, we watched a long line form of hungry children holding and empty bowl. As we served each child, we soon realized that there was not enough rice to feed everyone. All of us came together and started pulling granola bars and what snacks we had left out of our bags, giving them to the children. The children lit up with so much joy knowing that they would not go to bed hungry. It was beautiful to watch a team make sure that every tummy was filled with something.

The third village we did that day challenged us to step out in faith and believe for a miracle. The line was twice as long as it was at the first village and we had the same amount of rice to feed the children. At first my heart sank into my stomach, but I gathered our team and we began to pray for a miracle. We spoke the promises of God and just as He multiplied the bread and the fish, He was perfectly capable to multiply a bucket of rice.  The same power that raised Christ from the dead lives within us and with that promise we prayed for God to multiply. That day, every child was fed and we walked away with leftover rice! Our bucket never ran dry!! Praise God!! This was a beautiful miracle and a way that God always provides if we just believe!!

Love these faces!! 

The Donna-Holland School in Diriamba was probably one of the most amazing experiences we had as a team. Watching each person on my team who sponsors a child, meet their child for the first time was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. I cannot fully explain to you the tears of joy that ran down their faces. I took a step back that day and just watched how the life of a child living in poverty was so greatly changed by their sponsor. For just $175 a YEAR, a child had the opportunity to get an education and the consistency of a hot meal every single day (this is very unlikely for children in Nicaragua. Most are lucky to even get a meal/day). I watched these children and realized the generation that God is forming. The smile on a child's face when they are told they can attend school is BEAUTY. As I sit here and remember each child at the school and on the streets, tears come to my eyes. We are called to take care of the poor and orphaned and widowed. It is our assignment. I am so guilty of taking so much for granted here in the states. I get so caught up in my own little world and the amazing job God has blessed me with that I forget those little faces who are waiting for an opportunity to be something more than their circumstances say that they are. I encourage you to take a step of faith and sponsor a child. It will change your life.

Jennifer and Morgan meeting their sponsored child Junior! The minute that they had the opportunity to meet Junior, their life was changed forever. Junior was no longer just a face on a sheet of paper but he was a REAL child with a pure HEART that longed for school. He as God's child perfectly placed in the hands of Jennifer and Morgan to sponsor. Not only did they get to meet Junior but they got to meet his whole family. He was so proud to show Jennifer and Morgan his home and share his life with him. Tears were shed but a memory was made for a lifetime. 

Natalie and her sponsored child Jose Abraham! Look at the excitement and joy that filled his life when he met Natalie. Moments like this are exactly what we as disciples of Christ are meant to live for. 

When God gives you a vision, He will give you absolutely everything you need to complete the desire He has birthed within you. My desire and passion is to lead and disciple people on God's heart for the lost, lonely, and poor. I want to love like I never have before and give my life to just simply loving people. By leading this amazing team, I learned so much about God's plan for us as His disciples. This life is not about us but all about Him. God has perfectly aligned our lives for a specific purpose and calling that fits as a puzzle piece into his master plan. His calling for our life is SO much bigger than ourselves; it is beyond our resources and out of our comfort zone. The question is, will you step into it? God told his disciples to leave everything they had and follow Him. He told them to take nothing for the journey, because He was all that they needed. He would provide.

The faces. The smiles. The joy. The HOPE. The love. The laughter. The tears. I will never forget. I will give and I will fight so that others can simply live. Join this journey with me as I seek to fill the empty buckets all over the world (www.emptybucketministries.org). So thankful. So grateful.

Where will I start?

I will start with an empty bucket. I will live for today. I will invest in ONE. I will CHANGE THE WORLD.

Others

"Better to love God and die unknown than to love the world and be a hero; better to be content with poverty than to die a slave to wealth; better to have taken some risks and lost than to have done nothing and succeeded at it." 

-Erwin Lutzer

Well it has been a while since I've blogged, so I decided to make my way to a coffee shop, order my favorite soy latte, sit back, and write from my heart. This past week I have been following a blog of a beautiful family that left everything they had and moved to Haiti to serve at missionaries (www.livesayhaiti.blogspot.com). The more I read it, the more I fall in love with Tara's writing. It is beautiful, speaks to your heart, and cuts deep. If you know me at all, I LOVE Haiti. And not only Haiti but I LOVE spending time with "the least of these." A perfect day would be my hair up in a pony tail, no make-up on, walking through villages holding the hand of my husband and a sweet orphan wearing TOMS. No agenda. No worries. Just being the hands and feet of Christ. When life becomes about "others" and not about yourself, your perspective changes and you realize that your purpose remains solely is bringing God the ultimate glory He deserves.

Tara Livesay writes a beautiful post about missions and I want to take a minute to share some thoughts on what she writes. If you have time, go and read her post, it's worth your time. http://dlmayfield.wordpress.com/2013/04/04/war-photographer-tara-livesay/

It will make you think differently about "missions."

It's so easy to get caught up in the superiority mindset of the "fixers" and "healers" when we travel to third world countries. I'll be the first to say, I have caught myself in this mindset before. I go in and want to "fix" everything, when really, that's not my purpose. It's about going in with the mindset of wisdom and complete humility. When we go and stand in the midst of an impoverished nation, we MUST realize our own "soul poverty"  and "pride" that we live in every single day back home in our abundance. We are no one better but people who are commanded to fight for justice and show the LOVE of Christ. Instead of taking the higher road, we must take the lower and humble ourselves to the point of being uncomfortable.

Since I was 12 years old, I have taken mission trip after mission trip. I have seen and learned so much that has grown me and stretched me in so many ways. God has broken me, restored me, re-molded me, torn down my pride, isolated me, cleansed me, and helped shape my thinking to be more like HIS. I have a burning desire to help the poor, orphaned, and widow, BUT I want to do it in a way that doesn't destroy their dignity or who they are. I want them to realize there purpose and that their poverty does not define them.They are just as precious as you and I and deserve the absolute BEST. They are starving for LOVE and it is our responsibility to show them a LOVE that is unconditional, the LOVE of Jesus Christ.

So what does this mean for you and me? It means we must FIRST "examine our own motivation and presumptions in the light." We must clean out our hearts and realize our own poverty we live in. Being on the mission field with the lost, lonely, and broken has the potential to change our lives when we realize those that we look in the eyes, are Jesus Himself.  Whatever you do for one of the least of these, you do unto me. -Matt 25:40

On July 13th, I, along with my best friend, have the most amazing opportunity to lead our first Empty Bucket Ministries trip to the beautiful country of Nicaragua. We have an amazing team of 18 people and my desire, passion, and vision is that we go in with the mindset that we are nothing and that we ourselves need healing. May we not go in with a "project" mindset (as Tara talks about in her blog post) but with a mindset that each soul we come in contact with has absolute purpose and is created in the beautiful image of God.

As Tara writes...

"God is not made manifest in our ability to “fix” or “heal” or “solve” anything.  He has not cast us as the heroes. He is made manifest in our humility and in our own need to receive healing.  When I can see my own weakness and pride and my need for grace and healing I am left in a position of having nothing to offer …

 And you know what? When I have nothing to offer, Jesus shows up."

Empty Bucket Ministries Nicaragua Journey

The workers teaching me how to install the irrigation system! 

Walking through the farmland and praying over the irrigation system!

This is sorghum. A grain that they harvest and sell to feed their cows, chickens, pigs, and horses. That in turn will feed them. Helping the people of Nicaragua become a self-sustaining society!

Empty Bucket Ministries. Nicaragua. 1/24/2013

Almost done!!

I have spent the past 3 days here in Nicaragua, the 2nd poorest country in the western hemisphere, watching and experiencing firsthand our FIRST Empty Bucket Ministries water project. I never imagined I would be standing here co-leading my own 501c3 non-profit organization. This trip so far has encouraged and uplifted me in so many ways. A couple months ago, we as an organization sent over funds to Nicaragua to originally fund a water pump for a well but then decided that the land needed an irrigation system to pump water out to the farmland so that the people can harvest crops and sell for a profit. And here we are, actually on-site this week watching the irrigation system be placed into the ground. As I stepped on the land, it became so real and the beauty of the Lord hovered over the farmland. With this system in place, they will be able to irrigate 8 acres of land and plant 64,000 little pepper plants. These will be harvested and sold/exported out. This allows them to be self-sustaining; providing jobs and generating income for the poor. Glory to God!! It is amazing at what WATER can do!! Another awesome testimony is that they actually already have a buyer for these pepper plants. So as soon as they can harvest them, they will export them out!!! Thank you Jesus!!!!

As I walked through the farmland, I began to pray over the abundance of the land. I prayed that God would provide and meet every need of the people there. I prayed that hungry bellies would be filled and jobs would be provided for those that are without. As a team, we all got down on our knees and laid our hand over the tubing to pray for it. My heart was so full. I was humbled. I was amazed that God would use someone like me to be apart of such an incredible project!

So much has happened since we have been here and I just want to share a few stories with all of you. When we first got here, we visited the Donna Holland School in Diriamba, Nicaragua!! We got to meet 15 beautiful children that Empty Bucket Ministries will be working to find sponsors for this year. As an organization we believe so strongly in the POWER of education and we want to fully invest into the lives of children. We laughed, played, and filmed each child. They absolutely LOVED being on camera. From smiles to tears they told us their stories. In their eyes, you could see the fear and hopelessness of their situation; the FEAR that they will never amount to anything. Most were from impoverished situations and broken families. One little boy's mother walked miles to the school to bring him so that he might get the chance to be sponsored. For her, we were her last hope.  She longed for her little boy to be more than the circumstances he was trapped in, but she couldn't financially support any schooling for him. We were humbled and honored to take him under our covering to find sponsorship for this little boy. Here in Nicaragua, children can't attend school unless they have a uniform and school supplies and most families can't afford this for their children. So they need sponsors. Here are a few pictures of the beautiful children that need sponsors...

"Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone." -Andy Stanley

There are so many stories and I can't wait to share them all! Thank you so much for praying for us on this journey!!! 

God's Perspective

To fulfill your mission will require that you abandon your agenda and accept God's agenda for your life. You must say, like Jesus, "Father...I want your will, not mine." -Luke 22:42 (NLT)

My life has been radically changed by a book called "The Circle Maker" by Mark Batterson. One of the things he says in his book is, "God isn't offended by big dreams but He is offended by anything less." This book has pushed me to dream bigger and pray bolder! It has brought me to my knees drawing prayer circles around my hopes and desires. It has helped me realize that "100 percent of the prayers I don't pray, won't get answered." We all go through seasons in life and over these past few months I have been going through probably one of the hardest seasons I have ever been through; the season of Fear. Fear of the unknown; Fear of "what's the next step?"; Fear of my BIG dreams; Fear that I am under-qualified; Fear that I am in over my head. But at the end of the day I circle the promises of God in prayer knowing "perfect LOVE casts out all fear (1 John 4:18)" and that "the mountains may move and the hills disappear, but even then [His] faithful love for [me] will remain. [His] covenant of blessing will never be broken (Isaiah 54:10)."

Are any of your dreams WAY bigger than yourself?? A dream that you have no idea how it could ever happen? Have you ever felt under-qualified or not worth it? Have you ever felt that you don't have what it takes or the qualities needed to accomplish your biggest dreams?? The dream or promise or miracle that you are praying for may seem impossible, but if you keep "circling it in prayer, anything is possible. With each prayer, there is a small change in elevation. With each prayer you are one step closer to the answer." Keep praying. Stay humble, stay hungry, and keep praying. I LOVE the quote, "History belongs to the Intercessors." My DREAM is that our prayers leave a mark on History!

About a year ago, my eyes were opened to the "true" condition of our world while I was in one of the poorest slums in the Western Hemisphere. I can not explain to you the poverty I was in the midst of. Children running up to me with an empty bucket, changed my life forever. They did not have clean water and as they begged for me to fill their bucket I realized the hope they place in that "physical" water. Yes, they were physically thirsty, but they were also spiritually thirsty. In that moment, God gave me a vision to start a non-profit ministry called Empty Bucket Ministries and I want to share with you my journey up until now. I am no one special at all and if you ask me I am so under-qualified for anything that I am trying to do. I face fear, doubt and anxiety just like you do when you dream BIG and take a step of faith. There are days it takes every ounce of energy within side of me to keep praying. There are days I want to give up and forget everything...but when I fall to my knees and go back to God's word and proclaim His promises over my life, I know I am exactly where He wants me. Is it easy? No. Are there lonely days? Yes. Honestly, if I had it my way, I would be married right now and walking hand in hand with my spouse loving God and loving people. One of the deepest desires of my heart is to be a wife and to serve my husband with all my heart. I long to be a mommy. I never dreamed that I would be standing here, stepping out of my comfort zone...alone. This wasn't my "plan." But when you are in the will of God, His plans are so much bigger than yourself! He is able to "accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think" (Ephesians 3:20). God's timing is perfect and I believe He is shaping us both and even though we don't always understand what He is doing, His way is always perfect.  So therefore I continue to dream BIG for that one day I will meet my future husband, but for now I leave that in the hands of my daddy Jesus and be a praying wife :) One thing that I have learned is that Jesus cares so deeply about every single one of your desires. He placed those dreams and hopes inside of you and "He grants the desires of those who fear him; He hears their cries for help and rescues them (Psalm 145:19)." All He is doing is waiting on you to take a step. When you make Jesus the center of your life, He will give you everything that you desire and so much more. Giving your life completely to the Lord is one of the greatest decisions you will ever make.

My dream all started at a kitchen table with 3 of my best friends; we had a desire to "Change the World!" Did we have any idea of how we wanted to do that?  No idea at all! All we knew is the purity of our hearts and a push in our spirt to just "step out" into the unknow and start somewhere. I felt a lot like Peter. God was asking me to step out of the boat and trust Him completely. I knew in my heart that if I never stepped out in faith, I would never walk on water and see the impossible. I was scared to death because I didn't know the next step of this journey God was about to take me on, all I knew was the step I was on. After much prayer and fasting and seeking the Lord with all of my heart, I, along with my three best friends, took a massive step of faith and began to research how to start a 501c3 non-profit organization. Taking this step of faith has not only grown me but developed an unshakeable spirit within my heart that "nothing is impossible." I have been traveling to the mission field ever since I was 13 years old and every time God would reveal to me His heart for the poor, desolate, lonely, broken, abandoned, orphaned, and widowed. He opened my eyes to a completely different world and ever since I have not been the same. Every trip developed within me a burning passion to help those that can't help themselves. I want to be LOVE where there is no LOVE. I would travel to third world countries and hold children in my arms who were full of fear and hurting. I longed to RESCUE these children, to restore HOPE, and bring LIGHT to a lost and lonely world. I knew that through Christ I can do anything and that with the Holy Spirit living inside of me, I am empowered; "The spirit of the Lord is upon me, for He has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, and the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, and that the time of the Lords favor has come." -Luke 4:18-19. I knew that the time was NOW and I would begin by starting a non-profit organization called Empty Bucket Ministries. We began by filing papers for non-profit status and in faith, planned an event. The night before our first event, I was praying and God spoke to my heart to dream BIG. I began by writing down $10,000 in my journal of what I hoped we would raise for our ministry that night. But God was wanting me to dream bigger. So I erased it and wrote $20,000. This is how faithful God is; we raised $20,000.31 the night of the event!! Thank you Jesus! And now, after a long process of filling out lots of papers and filing for 501c3 status with the state, I am excited and humbled to say we just got our letter of approval!! We are now a 501c3 non-profit organization!! Only God. And this is where we are today, let the journey begin...

As I woke up this morning and my feet hit the floor, I spoke "Daddy Jesus, I want your will, not mine. I want your desires, not mine." Every single day it is so easy to get caught up in our own agendas, our own plans, that we forget to ask, "God what is your will for my life today? What do you want to accomplish through me today?" We go to bed thinking about what we have to get done tomorrow and we wake up thinking of how there is not enough time in the day to accomplish everything on "my agenda," but what about God's agenda for your life? God's agenda and calling for your life is so much BIGGER than anything that you could ever imagine. His desires for you are the most fulfilling and if you are willing He wants to use you in BIG ways. Your dreams are not too big for God. DREAM big and watch what God can do :)

Come to me as a child

At Abraham's village in Titanyen, Haiti. A very impoverished village.  

Beautiful, sweet girl! Her eyes stole all of our hearts!!

This little boy had such a faith and passion about him! His joy was beautiful!

Pictures say a thousand words. As I entered a small village in Haiti this little girl above came running out from her house and almost knocked me down as she jumped into my arms and held her hands so tightly around my neck. She was filthy, pant-less, malnourished, and dehydrated but her huge smile covered all. In the midst of her impoverished circumstances, he had so much joy. She was so excited to see someone, someone that would take the time to hold her and love on her.  I held onto her tightly as I began to walk down through the village with my team. We came to her house and her mother was there with the biggest smile on her face. I spoke a little creole to her (the tiny bit I know) and she invited us in. She welcomed us with open arms and wanted us to feel completely at home. I sat down on the front porch with this little girl in my lap. This little family didn't have much at all; but what they had, they were so grateful. I peaked inside her little house and on the floor laid two babies sleeping and another lady (I believe was the grandmother).  My thoughts went to "How do they sleep on the concrete floor like that with no pillow or blanket and disease filled mosquitos hovering all around them." My heart broke but I saw such a beauty. The little they had didn't define them; they knew that the only thing that mattered in their life was Jesus. To them, they had enough. No, they didn't have running water or a bed to sleep on but they had Jesus in their hearts. Their FAITH amazes me!!  I began to play with this little girl and through her joy, my life was changed forever. She was so humble and sincere and trusting by nature. She was so full of faith. Whatever I told her or asked her, she believed.  I was reminded of scripture through this little girl. The bible tells us in Matthew 18 "unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. So anyone who becomes as humble as a little child is greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Jesus used this reference to help his disciples understand a point. They were so preoccupied and self-centered with the organization of Jesus's earthly kingdom and losing sight of it's divine purpose. They were wrapped up in positions of "advantage" rather than "positions of service." We live in an attention-seeking world where our view becomes clouded and we lose sight of God's ultimate purpose on this earth. He calls us to be meek and humble as a child. He wants us to identify with children rather than our self-centered desires and attitudes. If you think about it , a child is weak and dependent with no status or influence. We need to take on this attitude everyday of our lives. God is first and foremost and we need to live our lives with a dependence on him rather than on ourselves and what we can do or achieve. All we need is a simple faith in Jesus, just like that of a child. Think of what God can do if you come to him in childlike faith!  By our standards, this little family had nothing, they were "physically" lacking, but by God's standards and the standards of the little girl I held, they had everything they needed, more than enough. God loves and cares so deeply about his people. He is calling us to walk in faith, trusting that He will provide no matter what.
"Reality may tell you otherwise but that doesn't matter because our HOPE and FAITH is in something more real than we can perceive with our five senses."