Though I am weak, HE is strong!

In eight days from today I will be boarding a plane back to the beautiful country of Haiti. This will be my sixth time to go and I couldn't be more excited.  As I look back over my life and see where I am today, I am in amazement at what God has done. I never dreamed of the journeys God would take me on or the lives He would have me touch. I never thought I would be the one to "Go to the Nations" or speak life into the lost, lonely, and broken. In my mind, I was never strong enough, or worthy enough, or confident enough, but God saw beauty in my weaknesses. He knew that where I am weak, He could be strong. He began to use my weaknesses to open me up to His power. He would watch me closely as I would fear my limitations.  When the demands of the day would make me doubt who I am and who I was becoming, He would reach down to the deepest part of my heart and talk me through each challenging situation teaching me how to tune into His presence and beautiful spirit. He would remind me of Luke 1:37 that says "For nothing is impossible with God." And it was at those moments that His LOVE was more than enough to carry me through. We cannot comprehend the LOVE of Christ. Our human mind cannot begin to even understand how much He loves us. And this type of LOVE I want the world to know. There is nothing like sharing the love of Christ with those in the most lonely and broken places. And for them to have a chance to know, I "Go."

I am reminded of Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:7-9 "...Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time He said my grace is ALL you need. My power works best in weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me." Paul suffered from a chronic and debilitating problem "thorn in the flesh." It hindered his ministry and he would pray of its removal but God refused. Three times he prayed for healing but he did not receive it. But the beauty is what he did recieve. He received greater Grace from God which grew in him a stronger character, humility, and an ability to empathize with others. Those around him benefited because they saw Gods work within his life. 


When I start to dream "God dreams" all fear is gone! When the Lord asks me to comfort the lonely or give hope to the broken, I'm not hindered by the thought of my limitations. The fact that God's power is displayed in our weaknesses should give us courage and hope. When we recognize our limitations, we depend more upon God for our effectiveness rather than our own energy, effort. or talent. We grow through our weaknesses and limitations because they give us an opportunity to affirm God's strength.

As I prepare my heart this week to go back to Haiti I praise God for my weaknesses. I will boast in the fact that through my weaknesses, God can work through me so that others may see His glory manifested!! Everything that I do, every step that I take and every word that I speak, I pray that it would all be for the glory of Christ!

Singleness

"But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be
perfect and complete, lacking nothing."
James 1:4

Singleness. If there is one question I am constantly asked it is, "How do you get through your time of singleness remaining joyful?" Part of me loves to answer this question and share how fully satisfied you can be during your single years but then there is a part of me that gets emotional because I know that there are so many girls who are missing out on so much because they are just "waiting" for the Lord to bring their night in shinning armor. They face emotion after emotion trying to find their fulfillment in a man. I see it everyday. I see girls who have lost themselves in the "noise" of this world. I see girls who have lost all of their value and when they look themselves in the mirror, they see worthlessness. Eating disorders attack young girls everyday because they think they aren't "skinny" enough or "pretty" enough by the world's standards. Years ago I walked this road and I "get" it. I can relate. It makes me so angry to watch how the devil knows exactly where to attack the most vulnerable part of our hearts. I see 15 year olds having babies at my hospital that are so lost and caught up in their emotions. My heart screams, "if you only knew the VALUE you have in CHRIST! You are perfectly complete in him and no one, absolutely NO ONE can steal that away from you. But we let our emotions and desires take over and control us to where we build our lives around them. What does it mean to completely yield your emotions, dreams, and desires to the Lord? What if we looked at singleness as a preparation for marriage??

"For since the world began, no ear has heard and no eye has
seen a God like you, who works for those who wait for Him."
Isaiah 64:4

"Singleness" is one word that can bring up a whole lot of emotions and cause loneliness to set in. It is a battle that many of us face but definitely a time that God takes us through. God never meant for this to be a season we dread, or a season where our "emotions" control us that we fail to miss the purpose God has for us in our singleness. Believe me, I will be the first to say, singleness is hard, but it comes down to the fact that we make it difficult. We let our surroundings convince us into thinking something is wrong with us because we still remain single. We dread the question, "Are you dating anyone?" because we worry what others will think when we give the answer. When we are with other people "we often lose sight of the presence of Jesus. Fear of displeasing people puts you in bondage to them, and they become your primary focus." The bible says "Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety." -Proverbs 29:25. We tend to let our physical desires to be loved and pursued take preeminence over our relationship with Christ. We fail to realize that Jesus Christ is the ultimate pursuer of our hearts and desires to script our beautiful love story; if only we would let Him.

"You continue to get your heart broken because you are holding the pen of your life and trying to write your own story. I am the Author of True love. I am the Creator of romance. I know your heart's every desire. I want to script a beautiful tale just for you, but first you must give the pen to Me, You must let me become the center of your existence. You must let Me have total control of your love life, and every other area of your life as well (When God Writes Your Love Story, Leslie Ludy)."

If there is one thing I ABSOLUTELY love is my time with Jesus! I love to wake up in the morning, pour me a cup of coffee, and sit on the couch with my bible and journal. God has taught me so much through my quiet time with him. I CRAVE my dates with Jesus.  I look at my life and realize that over the past few years I have grown so much. I can honestly say that today, I am fully satisfied in Christ. I know that only HE can fulfill my deepest longing and at the end of the day, He is enough. Do I have lonely days? Yes. Do I still struggle with singleness? Absolutely! Do I want to fall in love and be a mommy? You better believe it. But first, Christ must be the center of my existence and everything I shape my life after.

I just finished this book, "When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric and Leslie Ludy. It is a beautiful book on handing the pen of your life over to God and letting Him script the most beautiful love story. God began to speak to my heart through the pages of this book and I want to share a little bit of what He showed me.

This quote jumped out at me...

"Loneliness is a required course for Leadership." After reading this line over and over again I began to see singleness in a different light. "If God is preparing you to make an impact on this world, chances are He will take you through a season of solitude. In this season you will learn that you can't lean upon anyone but Him for your confidence and when you gain strength to stand alone, even when no one else stands with you." This time is training ground; He is raising you up to impact the world around you. He has to get your attention and it is in the lonely, quiet places where we finally begin to listen. Embrace your season of singleness, stand firm in your convictions, and use the time to find comfort in the arms of your King. When the lonely hours come, God is using the time to give you a strong backbone and prepare you to step apart from the crowd so that you don't crumble and compromise under pressure. He is teaching you to turn to him instead of trying to fill the void with other things.  The more time you give Him, the more you seek Him, you will begin to see that He desires more than anything to meet your EVERY need!

"You will discover that He may be using loneliness to prepare and equip you to be a leader, to stand firm when everyone else's courage is failing, and to live for the applause of your King alone."

There is nothing more fulfilling than living for Jesus. He cares so deeply about you and has your BEST interest in mind. He can do "exceedingly, abundantly, above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us.."He is the pursuer of your heart and desires to be your all in all. We MUST find our ultimate fulfillment in Him first before He brings along a godly man. We have to know that He is enough.

"God will honor your decision to hold out for a godly man; He paid for the treasure of your heart with HIS OWN BLOOD." Now that is LOVE...

"Since He did not spare even His own son, but gave Him up for us all, won't He also give us everything else?" Romans 8:32

Why Me?

"Me Lord?? Are you sure you want me??" I question the Lord often with these words as I try to make sense of this burning desire within my heart. As I try to wrap my mind around why God would ask me to "go" to the nations or "serve" in other countries, I take a look at my own life and it makes perfect sense. I can't fully comprehend His doings, but all I know is that "from everyone who has been given MUCH, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with MUCH, much more will be asked," Luke 12:48.  It is here, through this verse, that I realize I have been given MUCH; I am blessed beyond measure.  I live in a beautiful country, blessed with an incredible family and support system, I have a job that pays very well, I live in a house with A/C and clean, running, fresh water, and opportunity surrounds me. I could choose to live in the biggest house, drive the nicest car, and spend my time making myself "comfortable" when God is asking me to get "uncomfortable." God has given me so MUCH and from this I know, much will be required.  He has entrusted me, His beloved daughter, with so MUCH. I see this as a GREAT honor and to know that God trusts me with what He has given, I want to give so much more. I want to serve with a selfless heart, lead people to the cross, and proclaim the love of Christ to the nations. God has blessed me to be a blessing. He desires me to be about His business reaching the lost, comforting the lonely, and feeding the hungry. This life is not about me and daily I have to remind myself of that. We are here for such a short time and our main purpose is to reach His people. Everything is finished. Christ has already died on the cross and He has already won, but we still remain here.  Therefore, there is still work to be done, love to be shown, and the lost to be reached. There are still people that need to hear and experience the LOVE of Christ. And I WILL be that person to tell them. My heart is crying out to God to "make me uncomfortable!" I want to be used, I want to lead, I want to show the love of Christ just as He would do himself. It is in the uncomfortable places that I find Jesus. There He is waiting. There He is longing for someone to step out and comfort His people. There he remains.

This definitely isn't an "easy" road to travel. It requires sacrifice. Jesus chose the road of sacrifice, why wouldn't we do the same for him?? We know that where there is sacrifice there is restoration. I challenge you to look beyond yourself and see what God has entrusted you with. Live your life thinking of others before yourself. I promise it will be worth it :)